Eugene Gryniewicz


Atonement

The first breath October turns on its tongue

like wine cooled by a mountain stream, is

winter.  Sounds -- of ice crunching underboot

as you trudge slowly northward among the junipers,

among the white-haired pine, and tall grass trembling

in the wind -- hang in the air.  Your breath

steams the glasses on your face.  Your hands

grip the hungry stock of your rifle as you say

to your son, "This is not a game ..."

who walks beside you.  Who pauses to admire

the last claws of autumn that cling tightly

to the bent trunk of an elm (patched oddly, you think,

into pine).  When a doe spills

across the snow.  You bolt the rifle to your shoulder,

aiming,

and squeeze the trigger:  one shot,

you tell yourself, to break the spine, or like a mole

to burrow into her

throat.  "Clean is what matters," you told your son.  And

the doe will tumble deathward, like an acrobat ... .  There

is no net to save you, woman, you mouth without word.

But the doe turns upon you.

Her brown fur -- mottled feathers --

spreads from her, as she owns you to her large brown eye:

the trapeze falls inches short of your fingers; your rifle

falls.  And you

describe the slow spiral homeward.

copyright © 1991 Eugene R. Gryniewicz

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